Zopog Megaworks


Satans Bandstand

I made up this fancy pants poster for Satan’s Bandstand, an evening of dark comedy and horror which will feature among other things a screening of Legend of the Seven Bloody Torturers.  Also appearing are comedy groups The Horror Cops (Pat Thornton, Bob Banks, and Tal Zimmerman) and Seven Minutes in Heaven (Josh Saltzman and Laura Cilevitz), bands The Boyfriends and Girlfriends and Neo-Monsterist, and a selection of incredibly weird horror clips selected by, of course, me.  Here are a few to whet your appetite:

Satan’s Bandstand, July 4 @ 9pm, BYOB (located across from the liquor store), $5 cheap!
At the Unit 102 Theatre, 46 Noble St Unit 102 just north of Queen & Brock in Toronto.  Map



PiFan Screening Dates Announced

Take a gander at this here ridiculously extensive screening schedule for ten days of cranium-cleavingly diverse cinema at the at the 12th Puchon International Film Festival.  Watchables on offer include Yoshihiro Nishimura’s completely bananas-looking Tokyo Gore Police (do yourself a favour and watch the trailer here; it’s NSFW unless you’re in a very open-minded workplace), a Gregg Araki retrospective, buckets and buckets of Asian genre movies, and a screening of Al Adamson’s obscure kung fu/secret agent potboiler Death Dimension starring Jim “Black Belt Jones” Kelly, Harold “Odd Job” Sakata, and George “That one James Bond movie that no one ever seems to have seen” Lazenby.

(Almost in the vicinity of ironic, then, that Death Dimension was originally advertised with the tagline “The One Movie James Bond Himself Would Go See!”  Somehow I picture ol’JB sipping vodka martinis in Monaco while responding to some lusty femme fatale’s question, “Tell me, Mr. Bond, do you enjoy the cinema?” with a terse, “Not at all - I’ve got much better things to do in the dark,” and not “Cinema?  My dear, there is no cinema!  There is only the Death Dimension!)”

Apparently Death Dimension (1977) is a different movie from Black Samurai (1978), even though both star Kelly and both apparently involve some sort of freeze bomb.  I wouldn’t be surprised if one reused at least a little bit of footage from the other; director Al Adamson, who foisted upon the world such multi-title stock footage purees as Horror of the Blood Monsters (aka Vampire Men of the Lost Planet), Blood of Ghastly Horror (aka Fiend with the Electronic Brain), and Dracula vs Frankenstein (aka Satan’s Bloody Freaks), was notorious for such environmentally responsible filmmaking techniques. The admittedly none-too-reliable imdb has The Freeze Bomb listed as an alternate title for both Death Dimension and Black Samurai!

In David Konow’s amusing Schlock-O-Rama: The Films of Al Adamson, the director’s associates recall with some confusion the fact that he always acted as if he were ‘getting away with something.’  The only thing that confuses me is why they were confused - after all, the guy made a good living recycling the same footage over and over and not only managed to con people (like me) into shelling out perfectly good money for utter schlock, but into doing so several times since the stuff was listed under so many different titles! (Konow himself acknowledges this in an amusing introduction in which he recalls going to see Horror of the Blood Monsters at a drive-in unaware that he’d recently seen the exact same movie on TV under a different title.)  Currently out of print, Schlock-O-Rama is worth tracking down, as are Adamson’s Vampire Men of the Lost Planet and Dracula vs. Frankenstein if you’re in the right mood.

Wandering back to the point, Legend of the Seven Bloody Torturers is screening as part of the Fantastic Short Film 5 program.  The only non-Korean movie of the pack, Torturers screens alongside several shorts including the 20 minute comedy (I assume) called The Obese Family.  Sounds pretty amusing: “Bong-ja’s family goes to their father’s funeral. Her father’s coffin doesn’t close because of his huge belly,” but I’m slightly disappointed that the family doesn’t appear to be all that obese, at least not by North American standards.  They’re definitely going to have to beef things up for the inevitable American remake.  I should note that this is one of those festivals where they put the director’s picture up with the summary and the guy looks fairly intense, so I’m going to stop right now and keep my gentle ribbing of TOF to a minimum.

Anyway, Legend of the Seven Bloody Torturers screens Mon July 21 and Thu July 24 at 11am at the Primus Cinema Sopoooong 8.  More info here.



Torturers International Premiere

Legend of the Seven Bloody Torturers is having its international premiere screening in the Fantastic Short Film section of The 12th Puchon International Festival of Fantastic Film. The festival runs from July 18-27 in Bucheon, South Korea, apparently home of both the Puchon Robo Park and the Korean Comics Museum!

Into this mecca of grooviness will enter two other Canadian shorts: The Laundromat directed by David Jacombs, summarized thusly in the program: “A young woman, driven to the limits of sanity, finds refuge in an empty laundromat as the city is overrun by ravenous creatures.” There’s nothing quite as rundown and seedy as an empty laundromat, ravenous creatures or no - and it’s a world premiere to boot. Also screening is Rodrigo Gudino’s The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow. This new short from the Rue Morgue founder and director of The Demonology of Desire and The Eyes of Edward James features Julian Richings of The Tracey Fragments, Cube, and Wrong Turn and looks pretty impressive from a visual standpoint.

Get more info on Legend of the Seven Bloody Torturers right here and more on the festival hereabouts.



The Zombie Movie that would not Die
June 23, 2008, 11:32 am
Filed under: Flesh Freaks, Movies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Sevillian Zombies?

Don’t shoot a zombie video when you’re 18, because like some mangy, rapidly-decaying supernatural undead dog it will follow you around for the rest of your life, nipping off bits of your brain when you least expect it. I certainly feel like I lost at least a small hunk of grey matter when I was sent this dollar bin cover for a double DVD of Flesh Freaks and a movie called Dead Hunter.

Apparently that’s not a misspelling of the word ‘civilian’ in relation to Dead Hunter; they’re not civilian zombies but zombies from Seville, Spain. Why that particular origin should be a selling point for the film outside of Seville I’m not quite sure, but it adds to the brainlessness/hilarity of this DVD pack which is apparently labeled as “Made in the USA.” (Flesh Freaks was shot in Canada). I can see why a consumer would choose Made-in-America shoes, clothing, or furniture, but entertainment? Why is that even a selling point? Because it’s not dubbed? Seems strange, particularly in relation to zombie movies, so many of the best of which come from the continent. And it probably goes without saying, but I have no idea where the white-eyed blue zombie on there came from - it does not actually appear in the movie.

I’ve heard that this DVD version cuts off the end credits, but I’m fairly certain nobody cares.



Torturers Audience Feedback at WildSound Film Fest

more about “AUDIENCE FEEDBACK-LEGEND OF THE 7 BLO…“, posted with vodpod

The friendly folks at the WildSound Film Festival, where Legend of the Seven Bloody Torturers was awarded Best Cinematography, videotaped a Q & A session for your viewing pleasure - and put in in black and white to match the movie!



Flesh Freaks

Flesh Freaks

Released from their jungle hell, they come for the flesh of the living!

2000 / 80 min / starring Eshe Mercer-James and Etan Muskat / directed by Conall Pendergast

Flesh Freaks Poster

3 stars” - Mike Bracken, The Horror Geek at IGN.com

“An impressive little film that defies its miniscule budget”
- Rue Morgue Magazine

“A rock ‘em sock ‘em no-budget zombie epic that piles on lotsa laughs and gallons of grue . . . A wildly inventive slice of darkly comic splatter”
- Sleazegrinder.com

“A DV feature movie to definitely get your hands on … Nice and nasty with plenty of the red!”
- Thrae.com

“An engaging ooze-fest of a zombie movie”
- B-Independent.com

“An entertaining exercise in well-executed splatter!”
- Is it … Uncut? Magazine

“One of the best low-budget shot on video features I’ve seen … In the top 5 shot on video zombie movies ever made.”
- Todd Tjersland, Astaroth Entertainment

“Very ambitious, frenetic filmmaking!”
- J.R. Bookwalter, director of Ozone and The Dead Next Door

“An enjoyable little movie”
- Arnold T Blumberg and Andrew Hershberger, Zombiemania! 80 Movies to Die For

“I haven’t seen this much brutal eye violence (or at least brutal eye socket violence) since Fulci and Dardano Sacchetti were popping out eyeballs in the 1980s. Machetes, nail guns, crowbars, and various sets of scissors are all utilized to dispatch the evil flesh freaks—with satisfying results.”
- Mike Bracken

“Refreshing, old-school schlock!”
- MicroFilm Magazine

Flesh Freaks is a feature-length zombie movie I shot while I was still in High School. Thanks to the strange staying power of the internet, and a rather surprising tidal wave of interest in zombie movies, it has found an unexpected amount of attention and is occasionally reviewed alongside real actual movies, something that I find continually surprising. It still pops up whenever people Google me and I am often forced to explain myself to perplexed producers.

Take a look at this ridiculously inaccurate Japanese poster or, if you’re feeling brave, the original VHS cover (but only if you’ve got a strong stomach for cluttered design).



Kill Them and Eat Them
June 15, 2008, 8:24 pm
Filed under: Movies | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Kill Them and Eat Them

Kill … Feed … Repeat!

2003 / 80 min / starring Sandy MacDonald, Richard Archer, Francoise Snobel, Will van der Zyl, Cameron Lloyd, Hugh Gibson, Clayton Hayes, and Brian Squitti / directed by Conall Pendergast

Kill Them and Eat Them is the strange, sad story of Dr. Wallace “Gore” Williams and his travails amongst the Skeletoids, beasts of burden who have turned upon their maker. It was shot during a summer break from university when I was 20. The highpoint of the experience for me was working with the dedicated and eclectic cast - and getting them to put on monster masks and fight each other. Stranger than the movie itself were some of the reviews.

“With deadpan black humour and cheesey special effects, Pendergast has come up with a film that subverts just about everything traditional cinephiles hold dear … an experience not to be missed.”
- Chris Kaltenbach, The Baltimore Sun

“A pretty unique-looking film . . . Check it out. It’s funny and sick, just the way you like it”
- SleazeGrinder.com

“There’s a sort of wild, creative energy that runs through this whole production the likes of which I’ve rarely come across outside a few low-budget films from the 1930s and 1940s.”
- Steve Miller, RT

“It’s actually pretty funny”
- Gorginfloogle’s Movie Guide

10 Things I Hate About You meets The Island of Dr. Moreau(?!)
- ObscureHorror.com

“A funny story with a lot of heart”
- The Swedish Gore Film Society

… and The Swedish Gore Film Society knows heart. Kill Them and Eat Them is out in at least three different DVD versions. Take a look at this one featuring a skeleton-like thing that’s not in the movie. It’s also out in a six-movie set or, if you’ve got a lot of time on your hands, a 50-movie megapack!



BP digs Prisoner of the Clockwork Cannibals

Should have posted this awhile ago, but here’s Broken Pencil’s positive review of Prisoner of the Clockwork Cannibals, a short (and small) comic book originally made to publicize a play called The Boat Show (read the whole comic right here).

“On a whole, the tiny, string- bound comic is filled with more action and humour than it has little orange pages. It’d be interesting to see what the next chapter brings, for this zine is certainly worth the treasure hunt.”

I’d never actually planned to write a next chapter, as the comic served as something of a prelude to the play. But seeing as how it ends on a cliffhanger and, unfortunately, the play was only ever performed once, perhaps a follow up is in order.



Torturers plays Winnipeg, then South Korea

Legend of the Seven Bloody Torturers has a couple more screenings coming up, one in Winnipeg, Manitoba and another at the Puchon International Fantastic Film Festival in South Korea.

The Winnipeg International Film Festival, running from May 30th through June 7th, is a nine-day non-profit summer festival showcasing films of all lengths and genres from across the globe.

Screenings are at 1.15 PM on Saturday, May 31st 2008 and 6.30 PM on Monday, June 2nd 2008 at the PTE SAAN Theatre; more info at the festival’s website.

Legend is showing as part of something called the Silly Comedy program - and apparently it’s the first film showing in the block. One wonders if people might think they’ve wandered into the wrong screening when the first Silly Comedy begins with people screaming while being brutally tortured; then again, the other movies in the program are about euthanasia, a psychotic boss, and a funeral. Hilarious fun, Canadian-style! Be sure to ring up all your friends in Winnipeg and threaten them with a good whipping (or a stab in the iron maiden, or a run on the Catherine Wheel) if they don’t go.

Meanwhile the 12th annual Puchon International Fantastic Film Festival, the largest genre film festival in Asia, runs from July 18 - 27. Legend screens as part of the Fantastic Short Film showcase; obviously these festival programmers are pretty perceptive because, honestly, the movie is pretty fantastic. More info on that screening as it becomes available.



Legend of the 7 Bloody Torturers awarded Best Cinematography at WildSound Film Festival

The audience at the WildSound Film Festival, where Legend screened on Nov 20, voted to honour Carl Elster’s stunning black and white cinematography with the abovementioned award. A summary of the festival, with video clips and some films (though not Legend) posted online, can be found here.

Screening facilities were excellent, with technically impeccable projection and sound, and the festival’s selection of films was diverse and well-programmed, with an emphasis on comedy in the first half of the program. Legend screened - appropriately, I thought - after an interesting and rather grim experimental film in the second half. Called Pillow Girl, it draws upon images from mid-20th century dime novel and men’s magazine covers featuring women in situations of peril and fetishistic torture. Its theme and odd tone, coupled with its direct referencing of cultural works that fall within that broad camp of ‘camp’, made Pillow Girl and Legend comfortable bedfellows; though, one would assume, rather kinky ones.

See more of Carl Elster’s work at his website.